Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm too high and old for this...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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