Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I could fuck to npr.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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