Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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