dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
