look no pants
Soap is not a condiment
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
