omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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