wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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