So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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