And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
