Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize