One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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