he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize