Three words: puerto rican gang bang
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
