I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
