I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
