Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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