a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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