when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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