Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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