dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Randomize
