I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
