Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
