we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
