we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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