I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
