is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize