I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
