Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
