There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
