No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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