Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
