Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
