Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
