I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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