you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
