I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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