arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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