When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I wish i was in the wii world.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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