I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
