Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
