did you get engaged???
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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