I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
