Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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