About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
