How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
