My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
