After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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