we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
