I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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