Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
