i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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