I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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