every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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