Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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