I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
