doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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