So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
