So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
