? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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