I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
