1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
