Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
