I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
