I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
