chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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