Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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