there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
honey bunches of taint.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
