Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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