i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
