its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
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