dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
